John Cleese quotes

John Cleese is a British comedian, actor, and writer, best known as a founding member of Monty Python. His sharp wit and unique sense of humor have greatly influenced modern comedy. He has also enjoyed success as a filmmaker, author, and performer on stage and screen. Here are 79 of his quotes:

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people. (John Cleese)
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play. View quote
John Cleese
He who laughs most, learns best. View quote
John Cleese
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat? View quote
John Cleese
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. View quote
John Cleese
Aping Urbanity, Oozing with Vanity Plump as a Manatee, Faking Humanity Journalistic Calamity, Intellectual Inanity Fox News Insanity, You're a profanity Hannity. View quote
John Cleese
If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts. View quote
John Cleese
I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy. View quote
John Cleese
Six hundred years ago we would have been burned for this. Now, what I'm suggesting is that we've advanced. View quote
John Cleese
Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works. View quote
John Cleese
When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much. (John Cleese)
Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me. View quote
John Cleese
A man will give up almost anything except his suffering. View quote
John Cleese
I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force. View quote
John Cleese
I want to write a book which is the history of comedy. View quote
John Cleese
Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a mistake. View quote
John Cleese
Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted. View quote
John Cleese
Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating. View quote
John Cleese
And now for something completely different... View quote
John Cleese
Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests it's possible, so why not? View quote
John Cleese
When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized really fine acting and writing. Sometimes you have to go back to the basic principles which underpin great visual comedy. (John Cleese)
The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats. View quote
John Cleese
The most creative people have this childlike facility to play. View quote
John Cleese
When I was teaching, the headmaster told me "You know, the sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it." View quote
John Cleese
You see, you could never do a sketch like that these days. The audience is too uninformed. I blame the Americans. Nation of obese, violent, pig-ignorant, bible-thumping morons contaminating world culture. That's why I spend most of my time here in France. ... Beautiful, isn't it? Just look at those olive trees. View quote
John Cleese