Marty Feldman quotes

Marty Feldman was a British author, comedian, and screenwriter best known for his distinctive appearance and surreal comedy. His work often blended satire, absurdity, and sharp social commentary, making him a unique figure in British entertainment. He influenced later generations of writers and comedians with his unconventional style. Here are 14 of his quotes:

Money can't buy poverty.

Marty Feldman

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

Marty Feldman

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

Marty Feldman

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

Marty Feldman

I carry Keaton's photo around with me to remind me what happened to him. If the Hollywood system can destroy him it can destroy me.

Marty Feldman

I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

Marty Feldman

I was about five and a half or six when I converted [to vegetarianism] ... I was brought up the first five years of my life in London, in the working-class part of the city, where the only animals that a child is liable to see are domestic animals, or cats, or pigeons, or horses, none of which one eats. Then I was evacuated onto a farm when the war came, and billeted with this family of farmers, and I got very friendly with a rabbit-George, the rabbit. Then one day, George the rabbit was George the lunch. For a farming family there was nothing obscene about that. They kill animals; they serve them up at table and say, "Hey, yes, that's the animal you were playing with yesterday!"-which is not abnormal. It was obscene to me as a child.

Marty Feldman

I feel about Keaton the way an organist thinks of Bach.

Marty Feldman

When I quoted Bulwer Lytton's "The pen is mightier than the sword" to Marty Feldman he added reflectively, "Yes, and considerably easier to write with."

Marty Feldman

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

Marty Feldman

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

Marty Feldman

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

Marty Feldman