W. C. Fields quotes

W. C. Fields was an American comedian, actor, and writer renowned for his witty humor and distinctive persona. His vaudeville background influenced his sharp timing and sarcastic delivery in film and radio. He became an iconic figure for his irreverent jokes and portrayals of curmudgeonly characters. Here are 104 of his quotes:

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against. (W. C. Fields)
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. View quote
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. View quote
W. C. Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. View quote
W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. View quote
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break. View quote
W. C. Fields
Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days. View quote
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. View quote
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. View quote
W. C. Fields
Don't say you can't give up drinking. It's easy. I've done it a thousand times. View quote
W. C. Fields
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. (W. C. Fields)
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. View quote
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. View quote
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. View quote
W. C. Fields
Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for. View quote
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree. View quote
W. C. Fields
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia. View quote
W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. View quote
W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. View quote
W. C. Fields
Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with. View quote
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday. (W. C. Fields)
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. View quote
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. View quote
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. View quote
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people. View quote
W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields - Image
Occupation: American Comedian
Born: January 29, 1880
Died: December 25, 1946
Quotes count: 104
Wikipedia: W. C. Fields

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