Demetri Martin quotes - page 2

I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!' (Demetri Martin)
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is. View quote
Demetri Martin
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. View quote
Demetri Martin
Let no man's deathbed be a futon. View quote
Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. View quote
Demetri Martin
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. View quote
Demetri Martin
I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. View quote
Demetri Martin
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'. View quote
Demetri Martin
I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie. View quote
Demetri Martin
To me, comedy is a game. View quote
Demetri Martin
I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me. (Demetri Martin)
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something. View quote
Demetri Martin
People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. View quote
Demetri Martin
I'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that. View quote
Demetri Martin
Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Then I stopped in sixth grade or so. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. I really didn't progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade. View quote
Demetri Martin
And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite. View quote
Demetri Martin
I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary. View quote
Demetri Martin
They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that. View quote
Demetri Martin
I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out. View quote
Demetri Martin
I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television. View quote
Demetri Martin
As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress. (Demetri Martin)
As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it. View quote
Demetri Martin
I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes. View quote
Demetri Martin
Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. View quote
Demetri Martin
I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it. View quote
Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin - Image
Photo: theresa lynn from Allston/Boston, MA, CC BY-SA 3.0
Occupation: American Comedian
Born: May 25, 1973
Quotes count: 86

Related authors

Mitch Hedberg  198 
American Comedian
Chris Hardwick - thumbnail
Chris Hardwick  64 
American Comedian
Steven Wright  390 
American Comedian
Ken Marino - thumbnail
Ken Marino  6 
American Actor
Bobby Moynihan - thumbnail
Bobby Moynihan  16 
American Comedian
Fred Melamed - thumbnail
Fred Melamed  12 
American Actor
Bo Burnham - thumbnail
Bo Burnham  45 
American Comedian
Emo Philips - thumbnail
Emo Philips  69 
American Comedian
Rob Corddry - thumbnail
Rob Corddry  31 
American Comedian
Daniel Tosh - thumbnail
Daniel Tosh  42 
American Comedian