Bill Hicks quotes

Bill Hicks was an American stand-up comedian and satirist known for his dark humor and social criticism. His performances often challenged mainstream society, politics, religion, and the media. He inspired generations of comics with his fearless approach and remains a cult figure in comedy history. Here are 146 of his quotes:

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

Bill Hicks

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Bill Hicks

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

Bill Hicks

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

Bill Hicks

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

Bill Hicks

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

Bill Hicks

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved You ever noticed that Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. I believe God created me in one day Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

Bill Hicks

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

Bill Hicks

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

Bill Hicks

Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.

Bill Hicks

I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!"

Bill Hicks

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.

Bill Hicks

Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.

Bill Hicks

I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that? I've seen someone do that. Let me tell you something - if you're smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I'd think about quitting. And that's just me, ya know.

Bill Hicks

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

Bill Hicks

People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'

Bill Hicks

I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes].

Bill Hicks

I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.

Bill Hicks

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

Bill Hicks

The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.

Bill Hicks

That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" ... And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

Bill Hicks