Bill Hicks quotes - page 3

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer. (Bill Hicks)
not all drugs are good.. some of them are great. View quote
Bill Hicks
As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. View quote
Bill Hicks
I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul. View quote
Bill Hicks
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?' View quote
Bill Hicks
Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows. View quote
Bill Hicks
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. View quote
Bill Hicks
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions. View quote
Bill Hicks
What are you reading for? View quote
Bill Hicks
And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it. View quote
Bill Hicks
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining. (Bill Hicks)
I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House. View quote
Bill Hicks
I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. View quote
Bill Hicks
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth. View quote
Bill Hicks
On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did. View quote
Bill Hicks
(On the idea of being offended): "The majority of people are very reasonable I've found, but ya know what, they don't write letters when something offends them on TV, because reasonable people know IT'S JUST FUCKIN' TELEVISION! Not only that, reasonable people have a life! They're not sittin' in some trailer with some fuckin' crayon in their hand, some chicken scrawl goin' ‘I saw a guy talk about Jesus on the tube! I ain't gone tune in no more!'And also reasonable people know ultimately they're just fuckin' jokes! Are you so afraid of a guy tellin' jokes!”. View quote
Bill Hicks
You ever see that sign that says 'speed limit enforced by aircraft'? Wow. Man, you get pulled over by a plane, you're going to have a hard time talking your way out of that ticket. 'You know how fast you were going son?' Uh, 70? 'You were going 300 m. p. h. buddy, what the hell are you doing?' Sorry sir, I had that large coffee back at the truck stop - I'm fuckin' flyin'. HUGE coffee. I bought some dirt thought that would slow me down. Biggest motherfuckin' coffee you ever seen. He pumped it right up my nose. I'm just skin coverin' coffee right now. View quote
Bill Hicks
Not all drugs are good, all right? Some of them ... are great. Just gotta know your way around them, is all. View quote
Bill Hicks
We have women priests now. What do y'all think of that, women priests? [scattered applause] I think that's fine. So what? Now we've got priests of both sexes that I don't listen to. View quote
Bill Hicks
[on the Gulf War] I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops. View quote
Bill Hicks
(On the effects of Magic Mushrooms): "Your mind completely opens up to the true nature of our existence, which is that we are not bodies, that we are pure, loving spirit created by God. That God is love and there is nothing but love, being all-encompassing, has no opposite. You are completely forgiven on all things, there's nothing you've ever done that has ever swayed God's pure and un-conditional love for you. And you realize that eternity and peace and heaven is our inheritance, all of us are going to make it there.”. (Bill Hicks)
(On Standards & Practices): "Where are your standards?.... Stupid to retarded, is that the level of standards you're trying to put out to America?”. View quote
Bill Hicks
The Greeks used to put a lot of bodily functions in their plays, and a lot of graphic sexual material, because they believed, that in performing that way it released the demons of shame from the audience, which is what I believe. Cuz I think we're all pretty much the same, and we all have grown up with that shame-based thing that America deals with, right? And to sit there and hear someone talk about their love of having sex, whatever, makes you feel like you're not alone, with what you think maybe are dark, twisted thoughts, cuz they're not. We all share these thoughts. So that's why I talk like I do, or did, before I retired tonight. View quote
Bill Hicks
On December 16th, 1961 the world turned upside down and inside out, and I was born screaming at America. It was the tail end of the American Dream. Just before we lost our innocence irrevocably when the TV eye brought the horror of our lives into our homes for all to see. I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted a fireman, a policeman, a doctor, even president it seemed, and for the first time in the history of mankind something new called an astronaut. But like many kids growing up on a steady diet of westerns I always wanted to be the cowboy hero that lone voice in the wilderness fighting corruption and evil wherever I found it, and standing for freedom, truth, and justice. And in my heart of hearts I still track the remnants of that dream wherever I go in my never ending ride into the setting sun. View quote
Bill Hicks
(On being censored): "It amazes me how afraid they are of 1 person.... basically a joke blower!”. View quote
Bill Hicks