Jack Handey quotes

Jack Handey is an American humorist and writer, famed for his "Deep Thoughts" segments on Saturday Night Live. His absurd and philosophical comedy style has earned him a devoted following. He continues to influence and inspire generations of comedy writers. Here are 7 of his quotes:

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. (Jack Handey)

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Jack Handey

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

Jack Handey

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

Jack Handey

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Jack Handey

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Jack Handey

IF YOU ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

Jack Handey

Jack Handey

Occupation: American Humorist
Born: February 25, 1949
Quotes count: 7
Wikipedia: Jack Handey

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