Craig Ferguson quotes

Craig Ferguson is a Scottish-American comedian, actor, writer, and television host, widely recognized for his wit and unique humor. His most notable achievement is hosting "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" in the United States. He has also authored several books and lent his voice to popular animated films. Here are 178 of his quotes:

I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I had no respect for the teachers, their attitude didn't poison the writing that I was discovering for myself. (Craig Ferguson)
That's the thing about terrorism - it works. Especially for the terrorists - they might not get what they want but it feels damn good trying. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit rock bottom? View quote
Craig Ferguson
I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Laughter separates us from despair and gives us a chance at love. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Appear tougher or cooler or funnier than you feel and there is a chance you'll make it. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Being funny is a gift, and, when done well, is an art form. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Time is only linear for engineers and referees. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations. (Craig Ferguson)
The devil is not abroad at night in the form of a cat or a wolf or any other animal. He lives eternally in the hearts of men. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I dont know how to add things to my own wikipedia page. View quote
Craig Ferguson
It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Being guilty tends to engender feelings of guilt. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Between safety and adventure I choose adventure. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Change is the nature of God's mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing [sic] me. View quote
Craig Ferguson
That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself. (Craig Ferguson)
The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It's camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a year. The feeling of "what if” when meeting the eyes of a stranger can be love unrecognized. View quote
Craig Ferguson
Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'. View quote
Craig Ferguson
When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English. View quote
Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson - Image
Photo: Rachel Lovinger, CC BY 3.0
Occupation: British Comedian
Born: May 17, 1962
Quotes count: 178
Wikipedia: Craig Ferguson

Related authors

T. J. Miller - thumbnail
T. J. Miller  8 
American Actor
David Letterman - thumbnail
David Letterman  67 
American Comedian
Alice Eve - thumbnail
Alice Eve  15 
English Actress
Gerard Butler - thumbnail
Gerard Butler  39 
Scottish Actor
Jay Baruchel - thumbnail
Jay Baruchel  14 
Canadian Actor
James Corden - thumbnail
James Corden  12 
English Actor
Craig Kilborn - thumbnail
Craig Kilborn  21 
American Entertainer
Billy Connolly - thumbnail
Billy Connolly  70 
Scottish Actor
Jonah Hill - thumbnail
Jonah Hill  45 
American Actor
America Ferrera - thumbnail
America Ferrera  32 
American Actress