P. J. O'Rourke quotes - page 5

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. (P. J. O'Rourke)
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Never wear anything that panics the cat. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money. (P. J. O'Rourke)
Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights - the "right" to education, the "right" to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery - hay and a barn for human cattle. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners- two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. (P. J. O'Rourke)
When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
When government does, occasionally, work, it works in an elitist fashion. That is, government is most easily manipulated by people who have money and power already. This is why government benefits usually go to people who don't need benefits from government. Government may make some environmental improvements, but these will be improvements for rich bird-watchers. And no one in government will remember that when poor people go bird-watching they do it at Kentucky Fried Chicken. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as caring and sensitive because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he is willing to do good with other people's money. Well, who isn't? And a voter who takes pride in supporting such programs is telling us that he will do good with his own money - if a gun is held to his head. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke