P. J. O'Rourke quotes - page 16

Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system. (P. J. O'Rourke)
What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This is why most news about government sounds as if it were federally mandated -- serious, bulky and blandly worthwhile, like a high-fiber diet set in type. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life this much we can stand. But the real problem is that government is boring. We could cure or mitigate the other ills Washington visits on us if we could only bring ourselves to pay attention to Washington itself. But we cannot. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, 'Where's the art?' They weren't doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure its a midlife vocational reassessment. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
There is that kind of happiness. There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. (P. J. O'Rourke)
One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
...let's talk about soccer scores. There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency and scoreless sports ties are boring. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spouse, no teen with a wrecked family car, no mayor of Washington, D.C., videotaped in flagrant has ever come up with anything as farfetched as U.S. farm policy. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. (P. J. O'Rourke)
Satire doesn't effect change. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I'm a political conservative. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke