John Hodgman quotes

Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies. (John Hodgman)

First of all, I wish I could grow a beard.

John Hodgman

I know nothing about letting go.

John Hodgman

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

John Hodgman

Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.

John Hodgman

It would be rather naive to imagine that Oprah doesn't have an Earth Evacuation Plan. You know Richard Branson does - his is in plain sight.

John Hodgman

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

John Hodgman

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

John Hodgman

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

John Hodgman

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

John Hodgman

My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make a joke. (John Hodgman)

A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.

John Hodgman

That which is hard to do is best done bitterly.

John Hodgman

The decision to drop the atomic bomb - that wasn't Truman, but sweepstakes winner Penny Holkum of Palm Beach. And for that she received a case of Lucky Strikes and a lifetime supply of sadness.

John Hodgman

This pie chart represents the $70 billion in tax cuts, and the majority of that will go to people making over $200,000 a year. Or, as the government refers to them, "citizens."

John Hodgman

So long as you refuse to ever acknowledge failure, success becomes eternal, a downward curve, always approaching failure, but never quite reaching it.

John Hodgman

The geographic center of North America is historically located in Osborne County, Kansas. It is said that all armies will bow to the one who controls it.

John Hodgman

And parents, some old fashioned kitchen wisdom for dealing with those lice: take your child and cover his hair with mayonnaise and shove him outside because he disgraced your house by bringing lice into it.

John Hodgman

The silhouette was named for Etienne de Silhouette, the notoriously stingy finance minister for Louis XV, who ironically was himself incapable of casting a shadow, due to lycanthropy.

John Hodgman

If you make the smokestacks out of children, who will you force to clean them?

John Hodgman

There had been hoboes in the United States since there had been trains and liquor, which is to say, always. (John Hodgman)

For the first time in history, well-educated, affluent, white males are going to have their say.

John Hodgman

Science is not science. It's an art, like... art, in a way.

John Hodgman

Like most experts, I've always defined a planet in common-sense terms: Can you beam down to it? Is it populated by green-skinned women? Would Galactus eat it for food?

John Hodgman

What better emblem for our nation, after all, than a level playing field, shaped like an octagon, where people of diverse cultural ass-kicking traditions can meet as equals and immediately start kicking ass.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman

John Hodgman - Image

Photo: Rhododendrites, CC BY-SA 4.0

Occupation: American Author
Born: June 3, 1971
Quotes count: 62
Wikipedia: John Hodgman

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