Jack Benny quotes - page 3

Clyde: Then the animals lit fires to keep us away. (Jack Benny)
Mugger: Your money or your life. View quote
Jack Benny
Rochester: You mean that shiny one with the three points on it? View quote
Jack Benny
Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants? View quote
Jack Benny
Bob Hope: [finding some coins tied with string in Jack's trousers] When you ask this kid for a loan, and he says his money is tied up, he isn't kidding. This is an obstacle course for pickpockets. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: Gee, I never thought of that. View quote
Jack Benny
Rochester: Well, it went down two points this last year. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: I want to look tanned, not lumpy. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: I know, but peanut butter? View quote
Jack Benny
Marilyn Monroe: What about the difference in our ages? View quote
Jack Benny
Rochester: Oh oh. (Jack Benny)
Clyde: General Electric. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: I'm thinking it over! View quote
Jack Benny
Cook: We have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: Smell?... What do I want with smelling salts? View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: What's the matter? View quote
Jack Benny
Bob: Welcome to the Lucky Strike Program. In just a few minutes, you'll see our star, Gypsy Rose Benny. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle. View quote
Jack Benny
Bob Hope: Let's not do any jokes we didn't plan on, eh. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out. [Bob adjusts Jack's gun arm, so that the pistol is now pointing at Bob's head]. (Jack Benny)
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. View quote
Jack Benny
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. View quote
Jack Benny
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. View quote
Jack Benny
Modesty is my best quality. View quote
Jack Benny

Jack Benny

Occupation: American Comedian
Born: February 14, 1894
Died: December 26, 1974
Quotes count: 79
Wikipedia: Jack Benny

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