Jackie Mason quotes

Jackie Mason was an American stand-up comedian and actor, renowned for his sharp wit and distinctive delivery. His humor often explored themes of Jewish culture and the quirks of everyday life. He gained widespread acclaim for his work on stage, television, and Broadway. Here are 14 of his quotes:

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Jackie Mason

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Jackie Mason

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Jackie Mason

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

Jackie Mason

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Jackie Mason

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Jackie Mason

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

Jackie Mason

Predictions are preposterous.

Jackie Mason

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

Jackie Mason

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

Jackie Mason

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.

Jackie Mason

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

Jackie Mason