Moron Quotes - page 4
The sharp side of the knife goes away from you. Pure reason does not trump brute force but suprisingly few people know what hot peppers look like when the teacher asks if you have enough to share with everyone. Never take the lid of a pressure cooker 'to see if it's done yet'. Even if you are careful with the picric acid that won't matter if you are careless with other items next to it. Move *away* from mysterious burglar alarms. Do not append 'you moron' to exposition directed at people who have just broken into your building. 'We need to talk' is overwhelmingly unlikely to precede good news. A rough brick wall may be used to sort socks or as a backdrop for sock-art (The Neglected Art). A silent cat is Up to Something. Lungs are unsuited for many possible atmospheres, including that of London, and anything with a high content of industrial cleaners. Youth will not save you from Newton's Laws. Or Darwin's.
James Nicoll
Steve Kroft: In the last two years, you have been blamed for the financial collapse of Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Japan and Russia.
George Soros: All of the above.
Steve Kroft: All of the above. Are you that powerful?
George Soros: No. I think there's a great misunderstanding.
Steve Kroft: The prime minister of Malaysia said that the region spent 40 years trying to build up its economy, and along comes a moron like Soros with a lot of money, and it's all over. He called you a criminal.
George Soros: It's easier for him to blame an outside force than to admit that they were mismanaging their economy and their currency. The French finance minister talked about hanging speculators from lamp posts.
George Soros
You never see a positive drug story on the news. They always have the same LSD story. You've all seen it: "Today a young man on acid ... thought he could fly ... jumped out of a building ... what a tragedy!" What a dick. He's an idiot. If he thought he could fly, why didn't he take off from the ground first? Check it out? You don't see geese lined up to catch elevators to fly south; they fly from the fucking ground. He's an idiot. He's dead. Good! We lost a moron? Fucking celebrate. There's one less moron in the world.
Bill Hicks
Other people say that their parents are the same way whenever there's bad news from whatever patch of dirt they came from, but being common still doesn't mean it makes any sense. After all, it was twenty years ago, and if the adults were going to get so upset about having everything smashed up, they shouldn't have had a war or tolerated AIDS for so long that they gave it the chance to turn into mutAIDS, or allowed the climate disequilibration to get so far out of hand. Honestly, they remind me of the three-year-olds in the nursery, smashing things to bits and then crying because they're broken. I certainly hope I'm not that kind of a moron when I'm that old.
John Barnes
Bush gets appointed to the presidency, and he gives Ashcroft the job of Attorney General? A religiously insane, jack-booted thug? ... The people who knew him best: The people in the state where he had been Attorney General, where he had been Governor, where he had been Senator, they knew him best. They said "No, it's time to get rid of this moron. Because he's REALLY gone over the edge!" So they voted for Mel Carnahan, who happened to be killed in a plane crash before the election - and the voters knew that! Did that make them say "Uh, I guess we can't vote for a dead man..." NO! They voted for the dead man! The voters in Missouri are saying "we'd rather have a dead man as our representative in the United States Senate, than him!" And Kathy, don't you dare play any of his records! I don't want to hear "Soar like an eagle, I'll soar like..." - don't do it! I'll walk off the program today if you play that.
Mike Malloy