Asshole Quotes - page 2

Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your immortal soul will be consigned to eternal torment in the never-ending subterranean barbecue if you fail to follow the whacky edicts of one particular set of puckered dogwhistles or another. You may recall from the great movie Strange Days that a "dogwhistle" is a guy whose asshole is so tight that when he farts, only dogs can hear him. (L. Neil Smith)
If he wants to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before him have made the same life choice. View quote
Margaret Atwood
For a hundred years or more the world, our world, has been dying. And not one man, in these last hundred years or so, has been crazy enough to put a bomb up the asshole of creation and set it off. The world is rotting away, dying piecemeal. But it needs the coup de grace, it needs to be blown to smithereens. View quote
Henry Miller
...you are being the usual slimy hypocritical asshole... You may have had value ten years ago, but people will see that you don't anymore. View quote
Theo de Raadt
Mike, you are such a troll - screw you! I'm not kidding, screw you, you asshole. Screw you. View quote
Leo Laporte
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do? View quote
Jon Stewart
"And you actually were cuddly," said Carn. "No offense, but you were spunky." "If that's your word for 'bratty little asshole,' said Dink mildly. View quote
Orson Scott Card
I could EAT YOUR HEART & asshole you'd never know it. View quote
Joyce Carol Oates
I like the American-Canadian border, 'cause if you're walking on the border with a friend, and you push your friend into Canada, he can't push you back right away, 'cause first he has to go through customs. "What brings you to Canada?":[Points to the side] "That asshole." "When are you leaving?" View quote
Mitch Hedberg
Bitten? You mean you're a-" "A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister. View quote
Cassandra Clare
Well, I hate to tell you this," she said, "but your friend is an asshole." "He's not my friend," said Simon. "And I couldn't agree with you more, actually." -Maia & Simon about Jace, pg.49. (Cassandra Clare)
Must be a full moon,” she said.”Lawrence is turning into an asshole. View quote
Robert Charles Wilson
What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets and that's it. View quote
Ken Kesey
Still, he deserved to die. He called me an asshole. View quote
Chuck Palahniuk
To create a race of masters from a race of slaves, Mr. Whittier said, to teach a controlled group of how to create their own lives, Moses had to be an asshole. View quote
Chuck Palahniuk
Anybody that talks to this asshole is a fuckin' asshole. View quote
David Mamet
The failure mode of clever is "asshole.”. View quote
John Scalzi
We've already established whoever is writing us is an asshole. View quote
John Scalzi
Rule 1: When all else fails, follow instructions. And Rule 2: Don't be an asshole. View quote
Anne Lamott
In fact, punk rock means exemplary manners to your fellow human being. Fuck being an asshole, what you pussies thought it was twenty years ago. View quote
Joe Strummer
Tell me, did they specify 'asshole' on the job description, or did you take a course? (Bill Bryson)
All publicity isn't good publicity. As a New York publicist put it: "What: the guy's an asshole so I'll go and buy his novel?" View quote
Martin Amis
Everyone has a right to be a little happy, asshole. View quote
John Irving
My mother came to a Smashing Pumpkins gig once, and I was wearing a dress. She was very upset. She said, 'Everyone's gonna think you're a fag.' I said,'Well, they already think I'm an asshole. View quote
Billy Corgan
Four guys could get together and make their own movie, in a year, but nobody does it 'cause they got bills to pay. What I'm saying is, that's what I would do, if I was young. I wouldn't even get a job. I'd get a couple of computers and a bunch of guys, we'd eat crap for a year, millionaires the next year if we did a good film. It's so extraordinary. Instead of crying about getting a job at Disney or "things are falling apart", things the old animators were doing when I was a kid, "it's all crumbling!" It's not crumbling, you're crumbling! You got these computers that could do this stuff for nothing! What do you do with it? You try to get a job for some asshole studio. It's so dumb. View quote
Ralph Bakshi