Brad Garrett quotes

Brad Garrett is an American actor and comedian known for his deep voice and towering presence. Famous for his role as Robert Barone on the television sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond," he has won several Emmy Awards. He continues to perform in television, film, and stand-up comedy. Here are 25 of his quotes:

It's all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle.

Brad Garrett

I love strong women, not only in life but in craft.

Brad Garrett

I was very, very large as a kid and never athletic, and my home life was a little upside down and I never felt comfortable.

Brad Garrett

But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict.

Brad Garrett

When I hit the six-foot mark at thirteen, I noticed the majority of the population was in denial with regard to my athletic potential. The townspeople refused to believe that I couldn't play ball.

Brad Garrett

I don't think we're politically correct when we're private. I don't know what politically correct means. I'm just watching this thing going down in Baltimore, all the officers charged in the Freddie Gray death and I just think it's wonderful and sad at the time because this has been happening since the beginning of time in America and if it wasn't for cell phones these cops would be getting off.

Brad Garrett

There's a black man inside of me just trying to make bail.

Brad Garrett

I think I'm better wired for television. I love variety as far as a project. I'm easily bored and the schedule of a television show, it just keeps you going.

Brad Garrett

I think as any artist you always want to grow; you always want to get better.

Brad Garrett

Actually, I have my own charity that I started that helps supplement families with terminal children.

Brad Garrett

It's fun to play people who are flawed.

Brad Garrett

Broadway was without doubt the hardest I ever worked in my life and the highest highs I've ever had as an actor. The unadulterated fear was on a level that was hard to explain.

Brad Garrett

The goons needed some comic relief, and I needed an audience. I had found my niche.

Brad Garrett

[M]iddle age is the window to your eventual end...

Brad Garrett

As stated earlier, I am a pessimistic optimist, or what I like to call a "pissed-omist." This is a person who has lived long enough to know not to expect much from most people or life in general, but still allows him- or herself the hope that somewhere under all the horseshit there may possibly be a pony.

Brad Garrett

I was such a large sperm, my mother went into labor during conception.

Brad Garrett

The harsh reality is that my sequestered twins are advancing in the opposite direction of my earhair. Mother Nature has me by the balls, literally. They have actually started a race with my ex-wife's tits. And she will prevail, because she will get hers "done" as I continue to disappear into the abyss of recycled toilet brine. In the end, gravity always wins, people. Remember: when you have a heart attack, you fall down, not up.Middle age is upon me, and I don't remember this shit being in the brochure. I have six different doctors on speed dial, and the font size on my smartphone is at ten with a maximum setting of twelve. That doesn't give me much wiggle room for the golden years.

Brad Garrett

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

Brad Garrett

I think we love watching people that are flawed because we're all flawed.

Brad Garrett

I believe it's a real tedious hostage negotiation to have a marriage be what it is.

Brad Garrett

I feel very, very grateful. I'm a lucky guy, you need a lot of luck, and then when the cameras roll, you have to have this group of writers, directors, and actors that just gel, and it seems to literally be happening more and more.

Brad Garrett

I'm the type of guy that feels pressure when I have to order dinner. I'm just that type of guy but that's my fuel. I work well with pressure.

Brad Garrett