Mort Sahl quotes

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference. (Mort Sahl)
A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now. View quote
Mort Sahl
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost. View quote
Mort Sahl
My life needs editing. View quote
Mort Sahl
The bravest thing that men do is love women. View quote
Mort Sahl
Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. View quote
Mort Sahl
People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely. View quote
Mort Sahl
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl. View quote
Mort Sahl
Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way. View quote
Mort Sahl
I found people looked better when they laughed. View quote
Mort Sahl
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were. (Mort Sahl)
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers. View quote
Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job. View quote
Mort Sahl
Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times. View quote
Mort Sahl
You haven't lived until you've died in California. View quote
Mort Sahl