Bill Maher quotes - page 8

The Democrats do have a better product, as bad as they are. (Bill Maher)
You know who's grabbing your kids at too young an age? Merck, Pfizer and GlaxoSmithKline, by convincing you they're depressed, hyperactive or suffering from attention-deficit disorder and so they must all get medicated. View quote
Bill Maher
OK, the patient is not up and back at the office quite yet. It's no reason to throw the doctor out and get back the doctor who was using leaches. View quote
Bill Maher
Mr. President, there are some people who are never going to like you. View quote
Bill Maher
The sad fact about the mosque is the people who are building that mosque are part of the Sufi fringe moderate part of their religion. That's the good part. That's the liberal part. Those are the Hippies of the Islamic world. View quote
Bill Maher
Stand up for the 70% of Americans who aren't crazy. View quote
Bill Maher
You can't give that to people to pass around and smudge up with their grimy fingers. But it didn't matter, because it never matters to these people because nothing they say is ever fact-checked. View quote
Bill Maher
Muhammad Ali also had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face. View quote
Bill Maher
Christine O'Donnell like all these tea baggers has no plan, no agenda. No policy points. They have one advantage. They're running against Democrats. That's their big advantage. View quote
Bill Maher
The Partnership for a Drug Free America? Please, make me laugh and gag at the same time with that title. They're a lobbying arm for the liquor and prescription drug industries. They don't want a drug-free America, they want an America free of the drugs that are their competition. View quote
Bill Maher
... if you rejoice in revenge, torture, and war [...] you cannot say you're a follower of the guy who explicitly said "love your enemies" and "do good to those who hate you". The next line isn't, "And if that doesn't work, send a titanium-fanged dog to rip his nuts off". Jesus lays on that hippie stuff pretty thick! He has lines like, "do not repay evil with evil", and "do not take revenge on someone who wrongs you." (Bill Maher)
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. View quote
Bill Maher
Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail -- do not pass go, no questions asked, right to jail -- gets caught doing thirty oxycontin a day. View quote
Bill Maher
Couples should explore their mutual fantasies. View quote
Bill Maher
Charlton Heston...recently was re-elected president of the NRA for the third term. And they made an exception, because their charter, their constitution, says you can only have two terms, but they changed it. Ah. So constitutions can change. Interesting. Because it is called the Second Amendment. View quote
Bill Maher
I don't know what happens when I die, and I don't care. View quote
Bill Maher
I wish someone would just start Fly At Your Own Risk Airlines. How 'bout that? You can have your hair gel, you can have your lighter, you can have a gun, how bout that? You can show up at the gate five minutes before the plane leaves, and pay in cash, like in the good ol' 1980s. View quote
Bill Maher
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest. View quote
Bill Maher
I'm supposed to be all re-injected with yes-we-can fever after the big health care speech, and it was a great speech - when Black Elvis gets jiggy with his teleprompter, there is none better. But here's the thing: Muhammad Ali also had a way with words, but it helped enormously that he could also punch guys in the face. View quote
Bill Maher
We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called trickle down. That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it. View quote
Bill Maher
. . . remember, guns don't kill people -- unless you practice real hard. (Bill Maher)
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window. View quote
Bill Maher
Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why cant the rest of us make them go away. View quote
Bill Maher
The Partnership for a Drug Free America? Please, make me laugh and gag at the same time with that title. They're a lobbying arm for the liquor and prescription drug industries. They don't want a drug-free America, they want an America free of the drugs that are their competition. Prozac doesn't want to go up against marijuana, it will lose. View quote
Bill Maher
The republicans are always so much better at that word-game. I remember when they made the announcement that Dick Cheney was going to be the vice-president candidate, they purposely went back to the heartland home of his; back to Casper, Wyoming...and they went back to Dick Cheney's high school, where he'd been the captain of the football team. Folks, this is when I knew I would never be mainstream. ...I would never go back to my high school; I hated my high school. I hated the captain of the football team! ...And then, the piece de resistance, they bring out his wife, who of course had been his high school sweetheart. And again, this so doesn't work on me. That you married the first chick to give you a handjob? View quote
Bill Maher