Bill Maher quotes - page 6

It exposed, I thought, a lot of aspects of this society we have which are not terribly positive - toxic masculinity, victim culture. Liberal hypocrisy, I think, was the big loser. (Bill Maher)
Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is. View quote
Bill Maher
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?' View quote
Bill Maher
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. View quote
Bill Maher
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies. View quote
Bill Maher
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it. View quote
Bill Maher
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air. View quote
Bill Maher
Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k's because 3 would be too obvious. View quote
Bill Maher
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right. View quote
Bill Maher
I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush. View quote
Bill Maher
Work in the fields? Senator, I'm a house nigga. (Bill Maher)
If ketchup had 1/20th of the carcinogens in a cigarette they'd rip it off the shelves tomorrow, so the government is full of shit when they tell you that they care about you. View quote
Bill Maher
We're so inconsistent about what we let kill ya. "Smoking? Must be eradicated. Marijuana? Zero tolerance." But there's lots of ways to kill yourself. You know what I think kills you? Stress, and being a workaholic, and never getting laid, and, uh, McDonalds, and staying mad at people, and lying for a living, and three-martini lunches, and the all-American breakfast, and whatever the fuck Elvis was doing. That's what kills you. View quote
Bill Maher
Charlton Heston...recently was re-elected president of the NRA for the third term. And they made an exception, because their charter, their constitution, says you can only have two terms, but they changed it. Ah. So constitutions can change. Interesting. Because it is called the Second Amendment. The word "amendment" itself means, "We had another thought! We re-thought something!" View quote
Bill Maher
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery, but a little modesty about it might keep the heat off of us. I can't stand the people who say things like, "We built this country!" You built nothing. I think the railroads were pretty much up by 1980. View quote
Bill Maher
Rudy Giuliani's first wife was his cousin. Did you know this? I think that's a very cheap way to go after the Southern vote. View quote
Bill Maher
Muslims still take their religion too seriously, whereas we have the good sense to blow it off. Catholics don't follow the Pope. In overwhelming numbers they divorce, they have pre-marital sex, they masturbate. And unlike the Koran, no one here seriously considers following the Bible literally. Guys don't look over their fence on Sunday morning and see a neighbor mowing the lawn and think, "Working on Sunday? I really should kill him."... But, before I conclude, it should in fairness be noted that, in speaking of Muslims, we realize that of course the vast majority are law-abiding, loving people who just want to be left alone to subjugate their women in peace. View quote
Bill Maher
Words have meaning, but not anymore. And when I hear 'transphobic,' 'phobic' has a meaning: Fear. I'm not transphobic if I merely disagree with you. It's not hate. View quote
Bill Maher
Also, vaccine? Mask? Pick one! You've got to pick. You can't make me mask if I've had the vaccine. View quote
Bill Maher
I travel in every state now, back on the road, and the Red states are a joy and the Blue states are a pain in the ass. For no reason. View quote
Bill Maher
This is a really fascinating time because, again, we live in these two different realities. I don't think it's ever been like this. (Bill Maher)
We're not even number one in social mobility. Social mobility means basically the American dream, the ability of one generation to do better than the next. We're tenth. That's like Sweden coming tenth in Swedish meatballs. View quote
Bill Maher
The Democrats are going to lose some seats, probably a lot. But not as many as they would have if the tea baggers weren't winning the primaries because I think voters are generally conservative. View quote
Bill Maher
And because he didn't do it by football season, we are ready to throw him out on the street and bring back the guys who messed it up just two years ago. That's a little too impatient. View quote
Bill Maher
What got Van Jones fired was they caught him on tape saying that Republicans are assholes. And they call it "news." And Obama didn't say a word in defense of Jones and basically fired him when Glenn Beck told him to. View quote
Bill Maher