Maddox quotes

Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing. (Maddox)
The only thing that goes with Crocs is social Ostracism. View quote
Maddox
I don't get it: they re-package the same shitty football games every year, update a few stats, call it a new game and millions of suckers keep buying them. What's the point? Why not just go outside and play real football instead? Or even better yet, get bent. Nobody likes football. View quote
Maddox
If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel. View quote
Maddox
When the iPhone was first announced, CEO Steve Jobs spewed enough BS to cover a football field full of babies 3 feet deep in bullshit, which sounds cool because he could have potentially murdered a football field full of babies, but he passed on this opportunity by introducing the phone instead. View quote
Maddox
Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors. View quote
Maddox
Thank you Joe Nobody for giving me your expert opinion on what missile sounds like, because gas station superintendents are usually the best people to ask about the sonic signature of ballistic missile thrust. View quote
Maddox
I've got pissing people off down to a science. View quote
Maddox
It was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder. View quote
Maddox
What the hell is "partly cloudy" supposed to mean? When is it not partly cloudy? ... Just tune into a weather forecast. Chances are you'll hear the phrase at least 3 or more times. View quote
Maddox
i hope that earns me some eprops (proper recognition in an electronic form lol) LOL LOL LOL!!! (Maddox)
What are the odds that a simple geometric folding of a $20 bill with elements of design that were conceived in 1928 by a committee of treasurers, a full 42 years before the World Trade Center even existed, could accidentally contain a representation of both terror attacks? Pretty good, apparently. View quote
Maddox
My Nuts are just under critical mass, a few inches away from collapsing into a super dense vortex of nutsaqutron (a type of radiation given off by enormous balls). View quote
Maddox
"my friend and i were watching mtv the other day when nelly came on and my friend was like "omg nelly rules". hes such an idiot, he only listens to trendy music. at least i like original stuff like beyonce. View quote
Maddox
There are very few people who look good in red lipstick, and those people usually juggle for a living. View quote
Maddox
Kenley is alleged to have sexually assaulted her eleven-year-old stepson, then ditched out on bond. The FBI says Kenley has ties to Arkansas. Talk about trying to find a needle in a hay stack. View quote
Maddox
It simultaneously warms my heart and wears my delete key when I get emails from twelve-year-olds. View quote
Maddox
How can a movie be "one of the best"? There's only one "best" movie, so saying something is "one of the best" is stupid and doesn't make sense. Technically any movie that's not the worst could be considered "one of the best." Imagine that, another empty phrase used by marketing people. I want to punch someone in the throat. View quote
Maddox
6. You realize that if 10 million people saw the movie once, each wasting 3 hours of their lives, that 30 million hours have been wasted, and that if each person lived an average of 70 years, 3,424 years, or 49 lives will have been wasted watching the Titanic. James Cameron has effectively murdered 49 people. (Not necessarily a reason to cry, but it is to a sap that saw Titanic in the first place). View quote
Maddox
I've pissed higher than the tallest building in Utah. View quote
Maddox
Don't you retards think before you click "Send" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed emails some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it up in an email and shoot it off to me, usually mid-sentence. (Maddox)
(introduction) "this page is about my opinions. if you disagree, you have a right to your opinion and i can respect that." View quote
Maddox
...'SummerGrl19?' Very clever handle by the way, the only way you could make it any more unoriginal or cliche would be to add the words 'happy, cute' or 'princess' to the name. View quote
Maddox
Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid. View quote
Maddox
It's not that I rule, it's that everyone else sucks more than I do. We all suck, and whoever sucks the least is king. View quote
Maddox