Larry David quotes

Larry David is an American comedian, writer, and actor, best known as the co-creator of "Seinfeld" and creator of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." His unique sense of humor and observational comedy have made a lasting impact on television. He continues to influence generations of comedians and entertain audiences worldwide. Here are 111 of his quotes:

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.

Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Larry David

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Larry David

If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.

Larry David

Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.

Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Larry David

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.

Larry David

You write about what you know.

Larry David

I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.

Larry David

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

Larry David

Obviously comedic styles do change.

Larry David

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

Larry David

There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!

Larry David

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

Larry David

If every student was like me in college, we'd still be in Vietnam.

Larry David

I have to let him know that he's potentially destroying his movie, that he could be making a terrible, terrible error. I needed to let him know that I didn't know or think that I was capable of doing this.

Larry David

This is a sad day for the Emmy's. It is, however, a good day for Larry David. I imagine the wife will be forthcoming tonight.

Larry David

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

Larry David

(on not going to his high school prom) I wasn't aware of the prom. I had no idea that it was even going on, not that I would have gone. It's not the kind of thing that would ever occur to me. You would think I would have heard about it in school, but I didn't.

Larry David

I've had some experience in this arena. So it wasn't foreign to me to have a woman say she doesn't want to see me anymore.

Larry David

Listen, this is crazy. I look like I'm 75 years old. Nobody wants to watch an old man being funny. That's just a fact. No one wants to see this old man on TV.

Larry David

(Asked if he believes in miracles) I believe that every erection is a miracle. (Curb Season 7, Episode 6 "The Bare Midriff").

Larry David