Joseph Heller quotes

Joseph Heller was an American author and playwright, most famous for his satirical novel "Catch-22." The book became a defining work of twentieth-century literature and introduced the term "catch-22" into the English language. He used dark humor and absurdity to critique war, bureaucracy, and modern society. Here are 140 of his quotes:

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery or simple bad luck.

Joseph Heller

Live forever or die in the attempt.

Joseph Heller

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

Joseph Heller

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Joseph Heller

Rise above principle and do what's right.

Joseph Heller

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Joseph Heller

Insanity is contagious.

Joseph Heller

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

Joseph Heller

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'

Joseph Heller

You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.

Joseph Heller

It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

Joseph Heller

They can do anything we can't stop them from doing.

Joseph Heller

[They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

Joseph Heller

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Joseph Heller

There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

Joseph Heller

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Joseph Heller

The problem with the loneliness I suffer is that the company of others has never been a cure for it.

Joseph Heller

There is wisdom in madness and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete and everybody is capable of everything.

Joseph Heller

Everybody is as unstable as water.

Joseph Heller

The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.

Joseph Heller

Everyone in my book accuses everyone else of being crazy. Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts - and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?

Joseph Heller

How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?

Joseph Heller