Robin Williams quotes - page 3

If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniels is the wheelchair. (Robin Williams)
I would like to do for you now, a Japanese science fiction movie: "Attack of the Killer Vibrators." View quote
Robin Williams
One of the fundamental things is in a jihad. That sounds like a country western term like, "Jiii-had!" View quote
Robin Williams
Baseball players have to go in front of a grand jury and say, "Yeah, I did cocaine. Can you blame me? It's a slow goddamn game! Come on Jack! Standing out in left field for seven innings, and there's a long white line going down to home plate! I see the guy putting it out going "Heh heh heh heh!!!!" And that damn organ music too, the whole [does intro to "Charge!"]! Third base coach is always doing this...[wiping nose, fidgeting around]. When he's doing that, I don't know whether to slide or do a line! People sliding into home plate head first, umpire goes, "You're out!" View quote
Robin Williams
There was one guy that had an amazing claim to fame, in terms of drugs and sports. And his name was Dock Ellis. And Dock Ellis did an incredible thing. The one person who knows, thank you. Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD. Those of you who have taken LSD, tell the others how hard that might be. If I took LSD, I'd be talking to every blade of grass like "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" View quote
Robin Williams
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. View quote
Robin Williams
What's right is what's left when everything is wrong. View quote
Robin Williams
Reality: What a concept! View quote
Robin Williams
Cricket is basically baseball on valium. View quote
Robin Williams
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? View quote
Robin Williams
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. (Robin Williams)
We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. View quote
Robin Williams
I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. View quote
Robin Williams
Carpe per diem - seize the check. View quote
Robin Williams
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. View quote
Robin Williams
The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' View quote
Robin Williams
Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason. View quote
Robin Williams
The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery. View quote
Robin Williams
I'd like to start the show by showing you something I'm very proud of. You'll have to step back, though. View quote
Robin Williams
[Comparing Ronald Reagan's Cabinet to Star Wars] There's Henry Kissinger as Yoda, "Must now cannot see understanding that I be here for you. I will show you now, Nicaragua, Cambodia, Nicaragua, Cambodia, shhh. Must later understand!" View quote
Robin Williams
And if they legalize it, they're gonna have to regulate it and they're gonna have to put a warning on a box of joints. It's gonna have to say, "Surgeon General has determined this will make your music... awesome! Even Yanni. And if you think you liked cartoons before..." (Robin Williams)
But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be. View quote
Robin Williams
In America, they really do mythologize people when they die. View quote
Robin Williams
When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? View quote
Robin Williams
When the media ask him George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline' View quote
Robin Williams