P. G. Wodehouse quotes - page 8

I charged into something which might have been a tree, but was not--being, in point of fact, Jeeves. (P. G. Wodehouse)
I turned to Aunt Agatha, whose demeanour was now rather like that of one who, picking daisies on the railway, has just caught the down express in the small of the back. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I started back to the house, and in the drive I met Jeeves. He was at the wheel of Stiffy's car. Beside him, looking like a Scotch elder rebuking sin, was the dog Bartholomew. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Do you know,' said a thoughtful Bean, ‘I'll bet that if all the girls Freddie Widgeon has loved were placed end to end-not that I suppose one could do it-they would reach half-way down Piccadilly.' ‘Further than that,' said the Egg. ‘Some of them were pretty tall. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
A man, to use an old-fashioned phrase, of some twenty-eight summers, he gave the impression at the moment of having experienced at least that number of very hard winters. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Before my eyes he wilted like a wet sock. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I had not failed to interpret the significance of that dark frown, that bitten lip and those flashing eyes, nor the way the willowy figure had quivered, indicating, unless she had caught a chill, that she was as sore as a sunburned neck. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
At this moment, the laurel bush, which had hitherto not spoken, said "Psst!" View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
His was a life which lacked, perhaps, the sublimer emotions which raised Man to the level of the gods, but it was undeniably an extremely happy one. He never experienced the thrill of ambition fulfilled, but, on the other hand, he never knew the agony of ambition frustrated. His name, when he died, would not live for ever in England's annals; he was spared the pain of worrying about this by the fact that he had no desire to live for ever in England's annals. He was possibly as nearly contented a human being can be in this century of alarms and excursions. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
She had a beaky nose, tight thin lips, and her eye could have been used for splitting logs in the teak forests of Borneo. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
And a moment later there was a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and the relative had crossed the threshold at fifty m. p. h. under her own steam. (P. G. Wodehouse)
And shove him into a dungeon with dripping walls and see to it that he is well gnawed by rats. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
And as he, too, seemed disinclined for chit-chat, we stood for some moments like a couple of Trappist monks who have run into each other at the dog races. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn't detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I once got engaged to his daughter Honoria, a ghastly dynamic exhibit who read Nietzsche and had a laugh like waves breaking on a stern and rockbound coast. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Breakfast had been prepared by the kitchen maid, an indifferent performer who had used the scorched earth policy on the bacon again. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Henry glanced hastily at the mirror. Yes, he did look rather old. He must have overdone some of the lines on his forehead. He looked something between a youngish centenarian and a nonagenarian who had seen a good deal of trouble. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
The village of Market Blandings is one of those sleepy hamlets which modern progress has failed to touch... The church is Norman, and the intelligence of the majority of the natives palaeozoic. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
She loves this newt-nuzzling blister. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I can't stand Paris. I hate the place. Full of people talking French, which is a thing I bar. It always seems to me so affected. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I want to know what the devil you mean by keeping coming into my private apartment, taking up space which I require for other purposes and interrupting me when I am chatting with my personal friends. Really one gets about as much privacy in this house as a strip-tease dancer. (P. G. Wodehouse)
She laughed - a solo effort. Nothing in the prevailing circumstances made me feel like turning it into a duet. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
"Oh, look," she said. She was a confirmed Oh-looker. I had noticed this at Cannes, where she had drawn my attention in this manner on various occasions to such diverse objects as a French actress, a Provençal filling station, the sunset over the Estorels, Michael Arlen, a man selling coloured spectacles, the deep velvet blue of the Mediterranean, and the late mayor of New York in a striped one-piece bathing suit. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I hadn't heard the door open, but the man was on the spot once more. My private belief, as I think I have mentioned before, is that Jeeves doesn't have to open doors. He's like one of those birds in India who bung their astral bodies about--the chaps, I mean, who having gone into thin air in Bombay, reassemble the parts and appear two minutes later in Calcutta. Only some such theory will account for the fact that he's not there one moment and is there the next. He just seems to float from Spot A to Spot B like some form of gas. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse