Stephen Leacock quotes

Stephen Leacock was a Canadian writer, humorist, and economist, celebrated for his wit and satirical works. His stories captured the charm and absurdities of small-town life, making him immensely popular in the early twentieth century. He inspired generations of humorists and remains a cherished figure in Canadian literature. Here are 47 of his quotes:

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Stephen Leacock

It may be those who do most, dream most.

Stephen Leacock

It is to be observed that "angling" is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

Stephen Leacock

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

Stephen Leacock

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

Stephen Leacock

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Stephen Leacock

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.

Stephen Leacock

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Stephen Leacock

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.

Stephen Leacock

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Stephen Leacock

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Stephen Leacock

You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of being what they will be, they wouldn't be?

Stephen Leacock

You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.

Stephen Leacock

My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.

Stephen Leacock

Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.

Stephen Leacock

A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.

Stephen Leacock

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.

Stephen Leacock

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Stephen Leacock

Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

Stephen Leacock

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Stephen Leacock

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.

Stephen Leacock

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.

Stephen Leacock