Fran Lebowitz quotes - page 4

Fran Lebowitz is an American writer, social commentator, and public speaker, celebrated for her sharp wit and insightful observations on urban life. Her distinctive voice and sardonic humor have made her a cultural icon, especially in New York City. She continues to influence contemporary discussions on culture, society, and politics through her essays and public appearances. Here are 94 of her quotes:

Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness.

Fran Lebowitz

The 3 questions of greatest concern are, 1) Is it attractive, 2) Is it amusing, 3) Does it know its place.

Fran Lebowitz

Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds.

Fran Lebowitz

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

Fran Lebowitz

. . .to me the outdoors is what you have to pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

Fran Lebowitz

Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.

Fran Lebowitz

Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Fran Lebowitz

Most of my news, I get from the radio news stations. One of the stations' advertising lines is "Give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world." In 22 minutes, they just have time for the headlines, so they can only really tell you what happened - which, by the way, is the news. They tell you how many people were killed in Iraq today, but they don't then bring on some Republican senator to explain to you how that's good. Or, on the contrary, they don't bring in a bunch of Democrats to tell you why it's bad. They just tell you what happened. That's the news. I am capable of analyzing my own news. What makes these people qualified to analyze my news for me? No matter what side they're on, I never agree with them.

Fran Lebowitz

Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.This hideous religion that's all over the country - these huge church-malls - that's what substitutes for these lost towns. But that's not a town. That's a cult. A town is diverse, in a real way, not in this fake way we have now. A community is a butcher and a doctor, a minister, a town troublemaker. A "community" is not a bunch of people united by some grievance. That's just self-righteousness - incredibly dangerous and antidemocratic. People have become so rigid; their opinions seem to them like themselves. When that happens (and it has happened) people can't change their minds. If you are identified by your opinions - if that is the very basis of yourself - how can you change your mind?

Fran Lebowitz

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive - you are leaking.

Fran Lebowitz

I understand, of course, that many people find smoking objectionable. That is their right. I would, I assure you, be the very last to criticize the annoyed. I myself find many-- even most-- things objectionable. Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one's home. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs. In private I avoid such people; in public they have the run of the place. I stay at home as much as possible, and so should they. When it is necessary, however, to go out of the house, they must be prepared, as I am, to deal with the unpleasant personal habits of others. That is what "public" means.

Fran Lebowitz

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.

Fran Lebowitz

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.

Fran Lebowitz

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in moods, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement mixer long after one's interest in the topic has waned.

Fran Lebowitz

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let's Make a Deal.

Fran Lebowitz

Children ask better questions than adults. May I have a cookie Why is the sky blue and What does a cow say are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than Where's your manuscript Why haven't you called and Who's your lawyer.

Fran Lebowitz

A salad is not a meal. It is a style.

Fran Lebowitz