Fran Lebowitz quotes - page 3

Fran Lebowitz is an American writer, social commentator, and public speaker, celebrated for her sharp wit and insightful observations on urban life. Her distinctive voice and sardonic humor have made her a cultural icon, especially in New York City. She continues to influence contemporary discussions on culture, society, and politics through her essays and public appearances. Here are 94 of her quotes:

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Fran Lebowitz

How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.

Fran Lebowitz

Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.

Fran Lebowitz

Never judge a cover by its book.

Fran Lebowitz

The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

Fran Lebowitz

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Fran Lebowitz

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Fran Lebowitz

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.

Fran Lebowitz

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

Fran Lebowitz

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Fran Lebowitz

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Fran Lebowitz

Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.

Fran Lebowitz

Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.

Fran Lebowitz

Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It's my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they're apparently also not good enough to be shorter.

Fran Lebowitz

Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.

Fran Lebowitz

Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.

Fran Lebowitz

Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.

Fran Lebowitz

I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

Fran Lebowitz

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work.

Fran Lebowitz

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Fran Lebowitz

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Fran Lebowitz

You're only has good as your last haircut.

Fran Lebowitz