George Burns quotes - page 2

George Burns was an American comedian, actor, and writer, famous for his dry wit and enduring vaudeville partnership with Gracie Allen. His career spanned over seventy years, making him a beloved figure in show business. He achieved remarkable success in both radio and film, remaining active well into his later years. Here are 57 of his quotes:

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

George Burns

At my age flowers scare me.

George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

George Burns

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

George Burns

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

George Burns

If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

George Burns

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

George Burns

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

George Burns

At my age, all my friends, doctors, and attorneys are dead. The good thing about this is that there's no one left who can refute my stories.

George Burns

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns

Young. Old. Just Words.

George Burns

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

George Burns

I've had worried parents come up to me and ask me for advice. They'll say "I don't know what to do. My teenage son won't cut his hair, he drives too fast, and I don't know what that stuff is he listens to, but it sure isn't music." I'll just say to them "I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. By the time he's my age, I don't think you'll need to worry about him anymore."

George Burns

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

George Burns

How can I die? I'm booked.

George Burns

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

George Burns

Retire I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

George Burns

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

George Burns

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

George Burns

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

George Burns

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

George Burns

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

George Burns