Fred Allen quotes - page 3

If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard let him worry about cutting it. (Fred Allen)
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone. View quote
Fred Allen
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins. View quote
Fred Allen
Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart. View quote
Fred Allen
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret. View quote
Fred Allen
The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle. View quote
Fred Allen
A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things. View quote
Fred Allen
What does Sullivan do? He points at people. Rub meat on actors and dogs will do the same thing. View quote
Fred Allen
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. View quote
Fred Allen
All the sincerity in Hollywood you could stuff in a flea's navel and still have room left to conceal eight caraway seeds and an agent's heart. View quote
Fred Allen
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes. (Fred Allen)
He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down. View quote
Fred Allen

Fred Allen

Fred Allen - Image
Occupation: American Comedian
Born: May 31, 1894
Died: March 17, 1956
Quotes count: 62
Wikipedia: Fred Allen

Related authors

Jack Benny  79 
American Comedian
Dorothy Kilgallen - thumbnail
Dorothy Kilgallen  11 
American Actress
Edgar Bergen - thumbnail
Edgar Bergen  11 
American Actor
Bennett Cerf  8 
American Journalist
Eddie Cantor - thumbnail
Eddie Cantor  8 
American Comedian
Steve Allen - thumbnail
Steve Allen  24 
American Comedian
George Burns  57 
American Comedian
Gracie Allen - thumbnail
Gracie Allen  46 
American Actress
Bob Hope - thumbnail
Bob Hope  58 
American Comedian
Red Skelton - thumbnail
Red Skelton  15 
American Comedian