Helen Rowland quotes

Helen Rowland was an American journalist and humorist, renowned for her witty observations on love and relationships. Her newspaper columns and books offered sharp, satirical commentary on romance and marriage in the early twentieth century. She remains celebrated for her clever aphorisms and influential contributions to social commentary. Here are 90 of her quotes:

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

Helen Rowland

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Helen Rowland

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

Helen Rowland

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Helen Rowland

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Helen Rowland

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Helen Rowland

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

Helen Rowland

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning to a man it's the beginning of the end.

Helen Rowland

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

Helen Rowland

What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

Helen Rowland

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America."

Helen Rowland

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Helen Rowland

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Helen Rowland

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Helen Rowland

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Helen Rowland

The feminine vanity case is the grave of masculine illusions.

Helen Rowland

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Helen Rowland

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

Helen Rowland

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

Helen Rowland

Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

Helen Rowland

You will never win if you never begin.

Helen Rowland