Robert Orben quotes - page 2

Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence. (Robert Orben)
Humor gives presidents the chance to be seen as warm, relaxed persons. Humor reaches out and puts its arm around the listener and says, 'I am one of you, I understand,' and implicitly it promises, 'I will do something about your problems. View quote
Robert Orben
Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery it's a pen that scratches. View quote
Robert Orben
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. View quote
Robert Orben
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. View quote
Robert Orben
Wall Street is where prophets tell us what will happen and profits tell us what did happen. View quote
Robert Orben
It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke. View quote
Robert Orben
As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics. View quote
Robert Orben
It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line. View quote
Robert Orben
Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces? View quote
Robert Orben
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder. (Robert Orben)
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke? View quote
Robert Orben
Very few people ever meet celebrities. All we really know is what we read about them and the most memorable lines are jokes. That's how we tend to define what we think of a public figure. View quote
Robert Orben
You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair. View quote
Robert Orben
The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world. View quote
Robert Orben
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator. View quote
Robert Orben
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! View quote
Robert Orben
When you stand at the edge of the cliff, jump to fly, not to fall. View quote
Robert Orben
A young person today has a nanosecond attention span, so whatever you do in a humor has to be short. Younger people do not wait for anything that takes time to develop. We're going totally to one-liners. Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer. View quote
Robert Orben
George Bush has turned into the playboy of the Western world. He shows up at Chinese restaurants, at movies, at the Kennedy Center. He seems to be a totally relaxed, enjoy-the-moment kind of individual. He has shown a sense of playfulness that is very appealing. It shows he isn't overwhelmed by the overwhelming responsibilities he is taking on. View quote
Robert Orben
Dick Cheney has to be the kindliest attack dog ever. (Robert Orben)
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings. View quote
Robert Orben
Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet. View quote
Robert Orben
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. View quote
Robert Orben
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. View quote
Robert Orben