Ronnie Barker quotes

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. (Ronnie Barker)

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Ronnie Barker

We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion.

Ronnie Barker

But first, the news: The House of Commons was sealed off today after police chased an escaped lunatic through the front door during Prime Minister's question time. A spokesman at Scotland Yard said it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Ronnie Barker

There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.

Ronnie Barker

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, it's the best job in the world.

Ronnie Barker

I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television.

Ronnie Barker

It's better to make people laugh than cry.

Ronnie Barker