Patrice O'Neal quotes

I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat. (Patrice O'Neal)
I'm a slave to the culture, so I see an Audi, a Denali, or an Escalade, my neighbor got the four-door Porsche. I have a really nice truck. But it's a Durango and I like frontin'! I like to ride by and show off. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job 'cause I offended somebody? No, of course not. Your life should never be affected by public opinion. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
I'm a decent cook, and I will try to cook anything. My only weakness is that I don't know servings - I only know how to make a lot. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
Who has connections to Connecticut? That's where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
I need a little bass and I don't even need that crazy bass to break your face. I just want it to sound good when I have my favorite song. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon . . . dipped in honey. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy. (Patrice O'Neal)
Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
I'm a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat - I don't get chicken breast. I think it's a publicity stunt that we've convinced people it's delicious. View quote
Patrice O'Neal
Ive still got that little freedom part of me that wants to have a car that looks really sexy. View quote
Patrice O'Neal

Patrice O'Neal

Patrice O'Neal - Image
Photo: Lietmotiv from Washington, DC, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0
Occupation: American Comedian
Born: December 7, 1969
Died: November 29, 2011
Quotes count: 14