Mike Birbiglia quotes

Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist. (Mike Birbiglia)
Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.' View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!' View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Essentially, retweets are like laughs. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. (Mike Birbiglia)
The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Comedy unites, it doesn't divide! View quote
Mike Birbiglia
How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear. (Mike Birbiglia)
I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short. View quote
Mike Birbiglia
I just don't give off a great first impression. View quote
Mike Birbiglia

Mike Birbiglia

Mike Birbiglia - Image
Photo: Photographer: Brian Friedman. Copyright holder: Mike Lavoie, CC BY-SA 3.0
Occupation: American Comedian
Born: June 20, 1978
Quotes count: 28