Kevin Nealon quotes

Kevin Nealon is an American comedian and actor, best known for his work on "Saturday Night Live" and his distinctive dry humor. His performances in television and film have earned him recognition and a devoted fanbase. He continues to entertain audiences with his stand-up comedy, television appearances, and podcasting. Here are 31 of his quotes:

A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a while and appreciate the work. It gets a little embarrassing but it's good. If you work as an accountant, you don't have people coming up to you in the streets saying, 'Hey, great job on tax statements!'

Kevin Nealon

Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.

Kevin Nealon

When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.

Kevin Nealon

I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper.

Kevin Nealon

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.

Kevin Nealon

Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.

Kevin Nealon

I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.

Kevin Nealon

Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.

Kevin Nealon

I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another.

Kevin Nealon

I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version.

Kevin Nealon

I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.

Kevin Nealon

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

Kevin Nealon

When a show has been on for so long, you lose fans, you gain fans. I remember this from 'Saturday Night Live.'

Kevin Nealon

A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages.

Kevin Nealon

I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.

Kevin Nealon

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!

Kevin Nealon

I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.

Kevin Nealon

Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing.

Kevin Nealon

As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.

Kevin Nealon

I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.

Kevin Nealon

What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing; I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing.

Kevin Nealon

When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.

Kevin Nealon