J. B. Smoove quotes - page 2

J. B. Smoove is an American actor, comedian, and writer known for his energetic style and quick wit. He gained widespread recognition for his role as Leon Black on the television series "Curb Your Enthusiasm." He has also appeared in films, stand-up specials, and numerous television shows. Here are 65 of his quotes:

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima. (J. B. Smoove)
I don't like to dabble in anything I don't do well. I don't talk politics. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars. View quote
J. B. Smoove
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth. View quote
J. B. Smoove
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware? View quote
J. B. Smoove
I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two guys talking to each other, and I will just start playing both characters. I can't hear them, but I can see their mouths moving, so I'll just put words in their mouths. (J. B. Smoove)
It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I was the hallway clown in high school. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going! View quote
J. B. Smoove
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. View quote
J. B. Smoove
What happens in improv is you create your own storyline. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer. View quote
J. B. Smoove
True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one. (J. B. Smoove)
I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use. View quote
J. B. Smoove
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. View quote
J. B. Smoove
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. View quote
J. B. Smoove
A lot of comedians are selfish. View quote
J. B. Smoove

J. B. Smoove

J. B. Smoove - Image
Photo: Mingle Media TV, CC BY-SA 2.0
Occupation: American Actor
Born: December 16, 1965
Quotes count: 65