Carl Hiaasen quotes - page 2

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox. (Carl Hiaasen)
The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong.Your heart will tell you to do one thing and your brain will tell you to do something different. In the end, all that's left is to look at both sides and go with your best judgment. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well; I wouldn't do as good a job. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I think it's changed so that every bizarre story in the country now has a Florida connection. I don't know why, except it must be some inversion of magnetic poles or something. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Disney is just Disney. It's a company that's very good at what it does - controlling and promoting an image - until something happens that it can't control or cover up. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't. (Carl Hiaasen)
Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
As a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government. The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
I'd love to see a good script of one of my books, in these years of animations and comic book sequels, and had so many written over the years, but none quite clicked. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Obviously you have to make a profit to put out a newspaper. I'm not an idiot. But when the margins are in excess of 25 per cent you're talking about greed. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting contemporary satire. Sharp-edged humor relies on topical reference points. (Carl Hiaasen)
Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my very best friends are lawyers, though they don't resemble the ones that appear in my novels. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
When you're given a newspaper column, you're not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say 'On the one hand this' and 'On the other hand that.' You're getting paid for your opinion. View quote
Carl Hiaasen
When you put on the suits, when you pretend you're honest and you're robbing at a far higher level, these guys deserve to... well, to be in my novels, and I have special fates reserved for them. View quote
Carl Hiaasen