Alexander Woollcott quotes

Alexander Woollcott was an American critic, writer, and commentator known for his sharp wit and influential presence in literary circles. Famous for his work with The New Yorker and his role in the Algonquin Round Table, he was a beloved raconteur and radio personality. He left a lasting legacy in American culture through his distinctive style and contributions to the arts. Here are 17 of his quotes:

At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

Alexander Woollcott

The two oldest professions in the world - ruined by amateurs.

Alexander Woollcott

Nothing risque, nothing gained.

Alexander Woollcott

Once in pre-war days, when curiously-bonneted women drivers were familiar sights at the taxi-wheels, I cried out to one in my dismay: "Is there no speed limit in this mad city?" "Oh, yes, monsieur," she answered sweetly over her shoulder, "but no one has ever succeeded in reaching it."

Alexander Woollcott

I have no need of your God-damned sympathy. I only wish to be entertained by some of your grosser reminiscences.

Alexander Woollcott

Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

Alexander Woollcott

[You look like] a dishonest Abe Lincoln.

Alexander Woollcott

Well, if I were thus rationed in this article and could have but one adjective for George Gershwin, that adjective would be "ingenuous." Ingenuous at and about his piano. Once an occasional composer named Oscar Levant stood beside that piano while those sure, sinewy, catlike Gershwin fingers beat their brilliant drum-fire-the tumultuous cascade of the "Rhapsody In Blue," the amorous languor of "The Man I Love," the impish glee of "Fascinating Rhythm," the fine, jaunty, dust-spurning scorn of "Strike Up the Band." If the performer was familiar with the work of any other composer, he gave no evidence of it. Levant (who, by the way, makes a fleeting appearance in the new Dashlell Hammett book, under the guise of Levi Oscant) could be heard mutterIng under his breath, "An evening with Gershwin Is a Gershwln evening." "I wonder," said our young composer dreamily, "if my music will be played a hundred years from now." "It certainly will be," said the bitter Levant,"if you are still around."

Alexander Woollcott

I've never had the impertinence to be sorry for Helen Keller. I'd as soon be sorry for Niagara Falls. But now as I bring the story up to date, I'm shriveled with shame when I recall that at times in my life - my easy life - I've actually been sorry for myself. You too? We've got our nerve, haven't we?

Alexander Woollcott

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

Alexander Woollcott

His huff arrived and he departed in it.

Alexander Woollcott

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

Alexander Woollcott

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

Alexander Woollcott

I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.

Alexander Woollcott

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

Alexander Woollcott