Robb Wilton quotes

She said, "Do you know this Hitler? Have you ever met him?" I said, "Do I – of course I don't!" She said, "Well how are you going to know which is him if they do land?" I said, "Well, I've got a tongue in my head, haven't I?" (Robb Wilton)
The day war broke out, my Missus said to me – she looked at me and she said, "What good are you?" View quote
Robb Wilton
Woman: Do come along quick, there's a house on fire. Fire Chief: A house on fire? Just a moment, lady – what's the address? Woman: Grimshaw Street. Fire Chief: Grimshaw Street – Grimshaw ... now wait a minute, I know it as well as can be, and I just can't place it. Woman: Oh come along, it's only just round... Fire Chief: No, no, no – don't tell me, let me try and think of it for myself. Grimshaw St–... oh, isn't that annoying, I could walk straight to it, and I can't think of it. View quote
Robb Wilton
He said "I'll punch your head!" I said "Whose?" He said "Yours!" I said "Mine?" He said "Yes!" I said "Oh?" He said "Want a fight?" I said "Who?" He said "You!" I said "Me?" He said "Yes!" I said "No!" So we then came to words, he said "You're a cad!" I said "Cad?" He said "Yes!" I said "Who?" He said "Who?" I said "Yes." He said "You!" I said "Oh!" So of course then I knew. View quote
Robb Wilton
"Well," she said, "All the young fellas'll be getting called up and you'll have to go back to work!" Ooh – she's got a cruel tongue! View quote
Robb Wilton