Virginia Satir quotes

Virginia Satir was an influential American psychotherapist, widely recognized as a pioneer in family therapy. Her innovative approaches helped shape modern practices in communication and human relationships. She is remembered for her compassionate work and lasting impact on the field of psychotherapy. Here are 20 of her quotes:

We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.

Virginia Satir

Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.

Virginia Satir

Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.

Virginia Satir

A growing body of clinical observation has pointed to the conclusion that the family therapy must be oriented to the family as a whole.

Virginia Satir

Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

Virginia Satir

Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending.

Virginia Satir

Why Family Therapy...because it deals with family pain. you.

Virginia Satir

I have often thought had there been somebody like me around, something might have been able to be done. I also think I don't see how I could have done what I've done in the world had I been married. And when I decided-because I've been on the verge of marriage many times-I said no, because if I wanted to roam the globe like I did, it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to the people. At the point, I really feel it was a kind of destiny because I've been able to get to places. There are some people in the world who have other jobs to do.

Virginia Satir

I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made.

Virginia Satir

I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.

Virginia Satir

Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem.

Virginia Satir

So much is asked of parents, and so little is given.

Virginia Satir

We can learn something new anytime we believe we can.

Virginia Satir

What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting.

Virginia Satir

I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood and touched by them.

Virginia Satir

The recommended daily requirement for hugs is: four per day for survival, eight per day for maintenance, and twelve per day for growth.

Virginia Satir

Over the years I have developed a picture of what a human being living humanely is like. She is a person who understand, values and develops her body, finding it beautiful and useful a person who is real and is willing to take risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change when the situation calls for it, and to find ways to accommodate to what is new and different, keeping that part of the old that is still useful and discarding what is not.

Virginia Satir

"I think if I have one message, one thing before I die that most of the world would know, it would be that the event does not determine how to respond to the event. That is a purely personal matter. The way in which we respond will direct and influence the event more than the event itself.” - 1986 meeting of 600 Los Angeles-area psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals.

Virginia Satir