Karl Pilkington quotes - page 7

For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. (Karl Pilkington)
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. View quote
Karl Pilkington
People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this. View quote
Karl Pilkington
I've got loads of nieces and nephews. View quote
Karl Pilkington
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really. View quote
Karl Pilkington
I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. View quote
Karl Pilkington
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? View quote
Karl Pilkington
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. View quote
Karl Pilkington
Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone. View quote
Karl Pilkington
Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? View quote
Karl Pilkington
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people. (Karl Pilkington)
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. View quote
Karl Pilkington
That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. View quote
Karl Pilkington
I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit. View quote
Karl Pilkington
Karl: You've never been to China. View quote
Karl Pilkington
If I was Noah, I would have gone, Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown, have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin' View quote
Karl Pilkington
On dopplegangers - No because only it would only get me into trouble won't it? Because people won't believe there's another one like me. Otherwise everyone would be saying that when they get caught robbing, they go Oh it wasn't me it was me doppleganger. View quote
Karl Pilkington
Karl's diary - Woke up at 9.55am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at Suzanne and she looked at me. I said, Did I tell you about the immune system? Suzanne starting laughing, I said it's amazing. She said, Not now. View quote
Karl Pilkington
It's just easier to put stuff off once we've got this calendar, whereas if we didnt have a date you'd have to do everythin' straight away. View quote
Karl Pilkington
I wouldn't put a date on that pancake day anyway, just av 'em when you want, have it when you want. There's no big deal. You've got to make 'em yourself, it's not like some place is openin' to do it. Have em when you want. I don't know why that's got a special day on it,sick-of-it. View quote
Karl Pilkington
That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it; December 25th. (Karl Pilkington)
But hummus. When did that happen?...but there's a restaurant down the road that that's all they do. That is isn't a proper meal, that's a side-order innit? That's like having a restaurant just floggin' tomato ketchup. Hummus isn't a meal. They don't even try and kid ya to get you in to flog you just hummus, they actually say Oh it's hummus today. Not gonna work, they shut down within a month. View quote
Karl Pilkington
Hypothetical: Shipwrecked and eating a penis- ...I'll look for something else. We're surrounded by water. Why are we eating knob? View quote
Karl Pilkington
You can be an ugly baby and everyone goes awww innit nice? There was some women in a cafe the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about oh the baby's lovely. They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I dont know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I dont know what kept me from sayin' it. View quote
Karl Pilkington
Just been into the zoo, 'avin a look round an that. Went into the, er, into the aquarium. Mental, the amount of fish that are knockin' about. View quote
Karl Pilkington