Stanley Holloway quotes
Stanley Holloway was a British actor and comedian, widely recognized for his work in theatre, film, and radio. His roles in productions such as "My Fair Lady" and his comic monologues brought him international acclaim. He became a beloved figure in British entertainment and inspired generations of performers. Here are 18 of his quotes:
I've been very poorly but now I feel prime,
I've been out today for the very first time.
I felt like a lad as I walked down the road,
Then I met Old Jones and he said, "Well I'm blowed!
My word you do look queer!
My word you do look queer!
Oh, dear! You look dreadful: you've had a near shave,
You look like a man with one foot in the grave."
I said, "Bosh! l'm better; it's true I've been ill."
He said, "I'm delighted you're better, but still,
I wish you'd a thousand for me in your will.
My word, you do look queer!"
Stanley Holloway
I crawled in the street and I murmured,"I'm done."
Then up came Old Jenkins and shouted,"Oh son!"
"My word you do look well!
My word you do look well!
You're looking fine and in the pink!"
I shouted, "Am I? Come and have a drink!
You've put new life in me,
I'm sounder than a bell.
By gad! There's life in the old dog yet.
My word I do feel well!"
Stanley Holloway
And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
The handkerchiefs that cost me three shillings or so -
And that seems a lot for poor Uncle John
And anything goes to blow noses on. Talking of noses, hers is red enough.
I know what I'll buy her. A nice powder puff. Now she can't powder her nose with a grand piano.
Nor yet with a sewing machine.
She can't powder her nose with an Ingersoll watch -
Well that's silly, you know what I mean.
She can't powder her nose with a jumper.
She'll find that a little bit rough.
So I'll pop round to Woolworth's tomorrow, God bless her
And buy her a nice powder puff. And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
Sixpence ha'pennies aren't found in back yards.
I'll not buy her a powder puff at all - no.
I'll just send her my kindest regards.
Stanley Holloway
And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know!
The sewing machine that cost me twenty guineas or so.
And that would buy plenty of linen and thread
And things that are hand-made are best, so it's said.
It's not that I'm mingy - although I'm half Scotch.
I know what I'll buy her. A Ingersoll watch.
Stanley Holloway
My knees started knocking, I did feel so sad.
Then Brown said, "Don't die in a pub, it looks bad,"
He said, "Come with me, I'll show you what to do.
Now I've got a friend who'll be useful to you."
He led me to Black's Undertaking Depot,
And Black, with some crepe round his hat said, "Hello,
My word you do look queer!"
Stanley Holloway
Stanley Holloway
Photo:
Allan warren,
GFDL
Occupation: British Actor
Born: October 1, 1890
Died: January 30, 1982
Quotes count: 18
Wikipedia: Stanley Holloway
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