Harry Hill quotes

I've got a sister in Australia, so when I phone her up there is a slight delay on the line after I've spoken because she's a bit thick. (Harry Hill)
I remember the shouts of "SCAB!" as my father went to work during the great dermatologists strike. View quote
Harry Hill
Nan, she died again, tragically. We decided to get her embalmed, we threw a bit of money at it. And the embalmer asked us if we had any photos of Nan that he could work from. But unfortunately, the only photo we had was of Nan on the log-flume at Alton Towers. View quote
Harry Hill
The left side of the brain is responsible for speech, but then it would say that. View quote
Harry Hill
Anyone got a van?[Silence]That's right, you never see them any more, do you, vans. Trying to spoil my DVD? View quote
Harry Hill
You're probably like me, when your doorbell rings, your dog goes racing up to the door...but it's never for him, is it? "Who did you think it was going to be, one of your little friends?" View quote
Harry Hill
He went down to Portsmouth once, to visit the Mary Rose, and was surprised to learn that it had sunk. Thats how old he is! View quote
Harry Hill
Why is it only Tudor buildings we mock? View quote
Harry Hill
He went on Friends Reunited and Moses got back in touch with him. That's how old he is! View quote
Harry Hill
You know, he cries every time he sees a fossil, because he remembers it when it was running around. That's how old he is! View quote
Harry Hill
He remembers when lizards were fish. That's how old he is! (Harry Hill)
I understand that there's a large party of Scottish people here tonight...[Silence]I'll kill that researcher! View quote
Harry Hill
You know, he burned his first ever pair of shoes, because when he was a kid, the Earth was still hot. That's how old he is! View quote
Harry Hill