Daniel Handler quotes - page 5

Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M. (Daniel Handler)
It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world. View quote
Daniel Handler
Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies. View quote
Daniel Handler
Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if you're the one keeping them, I'll be the one feeling better. View quote
Daniel Handler
... that's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together. View quote
Daniel Handler
After a certain age, you couldn't even say where you were from. You went someplace, and lived there. And then you went someplace else. View quote
Daniel Handler
... everyone was right about you- prove them wrong. View quote
Daniel Handler
For Beatrice--I would much prefer it if you were alive and well. View quote
Daniel Handler
All love gets over, and we must get over it. View quote
Daniel Handler
If you are like most people, you have an assortment of friends and family you can call upon in times of trouble. For instance, if you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a masked woman trying to crawl through your bedroom window, you might call your mother or father to help you push her back out. If you found yourself hopelessly lost in the middle of a strange city, you might ask the police to give you a ride home. And if you were an author locked in an Italian restaurant that was slowly filling up with water, you might call upon your acquaintances in the locksmith, pasta, and sponge businesses to come and rescue you. View quote
Daniel Handler
What can be hidden in a book? (Daniel Handler)
Why do so many things end in fire? View quote
Daniel Handler
Standing ten feet away from Lila was sort of kickass with her nails drumming on the box with the slot in, where we put everything that we rip in half, and with her blue-eyed beauty and with the gum she was chewing and how lovely she was, in that way that makes you want to find something else lovely just so you can give it to her and see how really kickass it is to have to lovely things next to each other. View quote
Daniel Handler
When you traveling by bus, it is always difficult to decide whether you should sit in a seat by the window, a seat on the aisle, or a seat in the middle. If you take an aisle seat, you have the advantage of being able to stretch your legs whenever you like, but you have the disadvantage of people walking by you, and they can accidentally step on your toes or spill something on your clothing. If you take a window seat, you have the advantage of getting a clear view of the scenery, but you have the disadvantage of watching insects die was they hit the glass. If you take the middle seat, you have neither of these advantages, and you have the added disadvantage of people leaning all over you when they fall asleep. You can see at once why you should always hire a limousine or rent a mule rather than take the bus to your destination. View quote
Daniel Handler
My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous, and that the best we could do was one small noble thing. View quote
Daniel Handler
It was the sort of day when people walk in the park and solve problems. "We'll simply call the taxi company, David, and request a large one, like one of those vans." Is the sort of thing you would overhear if you were overhearing in the park. View quote
Daniel Handler
"I know" Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was. View quote
Daniel Handler
One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen. View quote
Daniel Handler
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. View quote
Daniel Handler
judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that. View quote
Daniel Handler
As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to find the one noble crouton that might save their sister.... (Daniel Handler)
There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins. View quote
Daniel Handler
This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says. View quote
Daniel Handler
The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. View quote
Daniel Handler
C is for Cute A is for Adorable R is for Ravishing M is for Gorgeous E is for Excellent L is for Lovable I is for I'm the best! T is for Talented A is for "A tap dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! NOW LET'S START MY WHOLE WONDERFUL SONG ALL OVER AGAIN! View quote
Daniel Handler