Omid Djalili quotes

Omid Djalili is a British-Iranian actor and comedian known for his roles in film, television, and stand-up comedy. His unique style blends observational humor with cultural commentary. He has gained international recognition for his performances and remains a prominent figure in entertainment. Here are 8 of his quotes:

I am the only Iranian comedian in the world... and that's three more than Germany!

Omid Djalili

YOU BASTARD! Come to my carpet shop.

Omid Djalili

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? Asif.

Omid Djalili

Its part of a comedy cultural exchange tour: tonight, I am doing the UK and Jim Davidson is being buggered in Baghdad right now, systematically and without cessation, by United States Troops! Such fun.

Omid Djalili

A Persian Cat! Not an Iranian cat, no: an Iranian cat has a bomb under the body warmer!

Omid Djalili

So we beat the Croations at football and I was there yelling "Ah, you Crotes!" and this guy says "It's cro-at; learn to speak English." So I was about to retort when he said "Hang on, you're Omid Djalili! You're good! I said "Aww thanks." He says "What are you going to do next?" I said "I'm in a pantomime of Wind in the Willows. I play the TO-AD, OF TO-AD HALL! I get in my BO-AT! And it sinks because it can't FLO-AT! And when I get out of the river, I'm wet and cold so I put on my CO-AT! And I can't get in my house because it's full of ferrets and STO-ATS!"

Omid Djalili

Semtex... with nowt taken out!

Omid Djalili