Louis C.K. quotes - page 2
![I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something. (Louis C.K.)](https://cdn.quotesdtb.com/img/quotes_images_webp/06/louis-c-k-blackberry-177506.webp)
A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing it. I don't know how they...how do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women. Globally and historically, we're the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women. We're the worst thing that ever happens to them. That's true! You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.
Louis C.K.
I had to be the head of the household really for the first time and say okay, I have to actually make a rule that we're going to live by here. And I decided what it was is that the family comes over the work always. I mean, with the kids it's a priority. Because I wanted them to have a feeling like they could count on me like I was really there, I wasn't just visiting. I didn't want one of these moments like, "Jeez, honey, I'm sorry I'm not going to see you this week or this month or whatever because I'm going to LA.” I got some offers early that go out to LA and do parts on sitcoms and I said no, because it meant going and being away for a month.
Louis C.K.
These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was O. K. because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn't a question. It's a predicament for them. The power I had over these women is that they admired me. And I wielded that power irresponsibly.
Louis C.K.
Whenever single people complain about anything, I really want them to shut the fuck up. First of all, if you're single, your life has no consequence on the earth. Even if you're helping people aggressively, which you're fucking not, nobody gives a shit what happens to you. You can die, and it actually doesn't matter. It doesn't. Your mother will cry or whatever, but otherwise, nobody gives a shit.
Louis C.K.
I- finally, I have the body that I want, and that's a thing people really covet. It's a hard thing to achieve, and I did. And I'm going to tell you how to have exactly the body that you want. You just have to want a shitty body. That's all it is. You have to want your own shitty, ugly, disgusting body.
Louis C.K.