Noël Coward quotes - page 2

Noël Coward was an English playwright, composer, director, actor, and singer, celebrated for his wit and flamboyant style. His works include classic plays, songs, and musicals that have left a lasting impression on British theatre and popular culture. He became an icon of sophistication and continues to influence artists around the world. Here are 75 of his quotes:

Gary: Beryl Willard is extremely competent. Beryl Willard has been extremely competent, man and boy, for forty years. In addition to her extreme competence, she has contrived, with uncanny skill, to sustain a spotless reputation for being the most paralysing, epoch-making, monumental, world-shattering, God-awful bore that ever drew breath...I will explain one thing further - it is this. No prayer, no bribe, no threat, no power, human or divine, would induce me to go to Africa with Beryl Willard. I wouldn't go as far as Wimbledon with Beryl Willard. Liz: What he's trying to say is that he doesn't care for Beryl Willard.

Noël Coward

It seems such a shame When the English claim The Earth, That they give rise To such hilarity And mirth.

Noël Coward

In Bengal, To move at all Is seldom if ever done.

Noël Coward

Elyot: I met her on a house party in Norfolk. Amanda: Very flat, Norfolk. Elyot: There's no need to be unpleasant. Amanda: That was no reflection on her, unless of course she made it flatter.

Noël Coward

Our families have traditions We've heard of a thousand times Our ancestors were unequivocally right. They frequently went on missions To rather peculiar climes To lead the wretched heathen to the light. Though some of them got beaten up and some of them stampeded And quite a lot were eaten up - a few of them succeeded. On one of these expeditions An uncle we thought a bore Turned out to be more spirited than ever he'd been before. Poor Uncle Harry Wanted to be a missionary So he took a ship and sailed away. This visionary Hotly pursued by dear Aunt Mary Found a South Sea isle on which to stay. The natives greeted them kindly, And invited them to dine On yams and clams and human hams and vintage coconut wine The taste of which was filthy But the after-effects divine.

Noël Coward

I'll see you again, Whenever spring breaks through again.

Noël Coward

In Rangoon The heat of noon Is just what the natives shun, They put their Scotch Or Rye down And lie down.

Noël Coward

In tropical climes There are certain times Of day When all the citizens retire To take their clothes off and perspire. It's one of those rules That the greatest fools Obey, Because the sun is far too sultry And one must avoid its ultry- Vi'let ray.

Noël Coward

Will it ever cloy This odd diversity of misery and joy I'm feeling quite insane and young again And all because I'm mad about the boy.

Noël Coward

Lord knows I'm not a fool girl I really shouldn't care Lord knows I'm not a school girl In the flurry of her first affair.

Noël Coward

Amanda: Whose yacht is that? Elyot: The Duke of Westminster's I expect. It always is. Amanda: I wish I were on it. Elyot: I wish you were too. Amanda: There's no need to be nasty. Elyot: Yes, there is every need. I've never in my life felt a greater urge to be nasty.

Noël Coward

I don't know what London's coming to - the higher the buildings the lower the morals.

Noël Coward

Wouldn't it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn't have tea?

Noël Coward

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

Noël Coward

AMANDA: I think very few people are completely normal really, deep down in their private lives.

Noël Coward

Gary: You ought never to have joined the Athenaeum Club, Henry: it was disastrous. Henry: I really don't see why. Gary: It's made you pompous. Henry: It can't have. I've always been too frightened to go into it.

Noël Coward

He loved me true did Harry-boy and I loved him true, and if the happiness we gave each other was wicked and wrong in the eyes of the Law and the Church and God Almighty, then the Law and the Church and God Almighty can go dig a hole and fall down it.

Noël Coward

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

Noël Coward

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

Noël Coward

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

Noël Coward

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.

Noël Coward

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.

Noël Coward