Jackass Quotes

A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one. (Sam Rayburn)
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. View quote
Paris Hilton
You stupid jackass," Ian said. "Who's got the crush on a worm, bro? You gonna call me stupid? View quote
Stephenie Meyer
I guess it's true what they say. There are no straight men in the trenches." "That's atheists, jackass. There are no atheists in the trenches. View quote
Cassandra Clare
More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass! View quote
Chuck Palahniuk
When people say that animal rescuers are crazy, what they really mean is that animal rescuers share a number of fundamental beliefs that makes them easy to marginalize. Among those is the belief that Rene Descartes was a jackass. View quote
Steven Kotler
No' is golden. 'No' is the kind of power the good witch wields. It's the way whole, healthy, emotionally evolved people manage to have relationships with jackasses while limiting the amount of jackass in their lives. View quote
Cheryl Strayed
But the reality is we often become our kindest, most ethical selves only by seeing what it feels like to be a selfish jackass first. View quote
Cheryl Strayed
When you call upon a Thoroughbred, he gives you all the speed, strength of heart and sinew in him. When you call on a jackass, he kicks. View quote
Patricia Neal
But who is this who rides in silver white Attire that shames the stars across the night? Helmet and shield and corselet all a-gleam, Like some crusader from a drifting dream Upon a prancing jackass shod with flame- Rise, heralds of the past, bray forth his name. View quote
Robert E. Howard
And I will not be beaten by that jackass." "Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass. (Eoin Colfer)
All my life, it seems, I have hated the guts of Max Lerner. Now, make no mistake: there is nothing personal in this rancor. I have never met, nor have I ever had any personal dealings with, Max. No, my absolute loathing for Max Lerner is disinterested, cosmic in its grandeur. It's just that ever since I was a toddler, this ugly homunculus, this pretentious jackass, has been there, towering over the American ideological scene. In the fifty-five years that I have been aware of Max's presence, in all of his many permutations and combinations and seeming twists and turns, he has taken the totally repellent position at every step of the way. View quote
Murray Rothbard
This jackass of a president ought to proclaim pride month for decency, abstinence and chastity, not for the most abominable sins known to mankind - in the estimation of God Almighty, that is. Obama will bring down the curses of God upon the whole creation. Remember, you ignorant Americans, you Obama-worshippers around the world, we warned you. He raises a false argument ordering that nobody discriminate against fags. Listen up, you Bible-ignorant moron! It is neither wrongful nor sinful to discriminate against sin! View quote
Fred Phelps
An artist is like a woman who can do nothing but love, and who succumbs to every stray male jackass. View quote
Heinrich Böll
I have felt the swaying of the elephant's shoulders; and now you want me to climb on a jackass? Try to be serious. View quote
Meera Bai
UnMarketing: "Don't try to win over the haters; you're not the jackass whisperer. View quote
Brené Brown
Every jackass going the roads thinks he has ideas. View quote
James Joyce
Take your patience pill ...You can be joyous, but you can't be a jackass. View quote
Michael Nutter
Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it. View quote
Lyndon B. Johnson
Jessica: "You great drunken jackass!” Dain: "I did not give you leave to use my Christian name. View quote
Loretta Chase
Shut up!" Eve yelled from somewhere upstairs. "Jackass!" "You know, when people say that, I just hear the word awesome. (Rachel Caine)
You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall. "Love you, too, jackass! View quote
Rachel Caine
To me, comedies are usually the least funny movies. Movies that are actually a comedy are usually not all that funny. To me Goodfellas and Raging Bull are two of the funniest movies I ever saw. [Vulture, 2010] The Jackass movies are honestly some of the best movies I've ever seen. I laugh so hard at them. Those guys are geniuses. If they had grown up with a different group of people, they could've been performance artists at Bard College, and people would be writing papers about them. View quote
Louis C.K.
The look of success, when it is worn a certain way, would infuriate a jackass. View quote
Albert Camus
This jackass of a president ought to proclaim pride month for decency, abstinence and chastity, not for the most abominable sins known to mankind - in the estimation of God Almighty, that is. Obama will bring down the curses of God upon the whole creation. View quote
Fred Phelps