The horse and mule live thirty years And nothing know of wines and beers; The goat and sheep at twenty die, With never a taste of scotch or rye; The cow drinks water by the ton, And at eighteen is mostly done. Without the aid of rum or gin The dog at fifteen cashes in; The cat in milk and water soaks, And then at twelve years old it croaks; The modest, sober, bone-dry hen Lays eggs for nogs and dies at ten; All animals are strictly dry; They sinless live and swiftly die, While sinful, gleeful, rum-soaked men Survive for three score years and ten. And some of us - a mighty few - Stay pickled 'till we're ninety-two.