Christopher Moore (author) quotes - page 2

Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word. (Christopher Moore (author))
Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Yo, yo, yo, check it out," said PJ, with enough hand gestures that any deaf person watching would have thought he had ASL Tourette's syndrome. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
The Ghost: I'm sorry to haunt you while you're rogering the help. Pocket: The rogering has not commenced, wisp. I have barely bridled the horse for a moist and bawdy ride. Now, go away! View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
King Lear: How hath my fool offended? Regan: He hath shagged me roughly, against my will, and finished too soon. King Lear: By force- Pocket? He isn't eight-stone on a feast day- he couldn't shag a cat by force. Pocket: That's not true, sire. If the cat is distracted with a trout, then - well, uh, never mind. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
She's a bloody vision of loveliness. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
This book you've read is just a story. I made it up. It is not designed to change anyone's beliefs or worldview, unless after reading it you've decided to be kinder to your fellow humans (which is okay), or you decide you really would like to teach yoga to an elephant, in which case, please get videotape. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them. The key - and this is very relevant in our case - is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Unless you can change the past, you're wasting the present on this guilt. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Blessed are the dumbfucks. (Christopher Moore (author))
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs? View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
The value of the work we do is the value we give to it. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Love: the sickest of Irony's sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Don't be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It's the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong. (Christopher Moore (author))
He was a writer and words were his weapons. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)
She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it. View quote
Christopher Moore (author)